How my Jamaican tradition has taught me that getting older means embracing who I’m and sporting what I need.
The primary time I noticed 13 Going On 30 and watched Jenna Rink skip 17 years of her life due to a foul birthday celebration, I had one thought: she’s so actual for that. The very fact is “thirty, flirty, and thriving” sounded good to me at ten, and now, two years shy of the mark, it’s much more iconic. However not everyone seems to be as excited for the following decade as I’m.
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For those who take note of TikTok and social media, you already know that age isn’t only a quantity, it’s a generally painful marker of id. Whether or not it’s Gen Z-beloved straight jeans vs. millennial-favoured skinny jeansthere’s an enormous strain to each appear like the group you belong to however — if you happen to’re older than, say, 25 — by no means look your age. Prior to now yr, virtually each member of my late-twenties woman gang has freaked about fantastic strains, grey hairsor the nebulous sensation of “feeling outdated.” For me, regardless that getting older has its scary moments, my Jamaican background helps preserve issues in perspective.
Jamaica is a small island with a huge impact, particularly in Toronto. You possibly can scent Jamaican patties from Islington to Warden Station and listen to the echo of Jamaican Patois in Toronto slang. Each summer time, you possibly can even see Jamaicans and different West Indians celebrating our communities in vibrant costumes at Caribana. However Jamaican tradition is greater than the meals we eat and the way in which we discuss: it’s who we’re and who we select to be at any age.
For so long as I can keep in mind, my relations have expressed themselves via look. From my cousin Marsha’s blonde buzzcut to my brother’s tattoos, many Jamaicans get pleasure from being seen, interval. Whereas visiting my dad in New York final summer time, we determined to absorb a Mets sport, every donning outfits that have been quintessentially us. Though I used to be feeling cute and summery in shorts and a crop prime, I used to be 27 on the time and apprehensive {that a} naked midriff was slowly turning into unbecoming. My dad’s outfit, nonetheless — a inexperienced mesh marina and dishevelled denims with a inexperienced bandana tucked into his pocket — jogged my memory that my solely job was to be myself.
“I don’t really feel totally different or gown in another way than I did in my thirties or forties” my dad says. Though he’s approaching 60, you wouldn’t comprehend it by him. That’s as a result of Jamaicans care about proudly being themselves than “respectably” being themselves. My dad’s dedication to this can be a fixed reminder that hiding your sense of fashion to achieve acceptance is self-betrayal. So, as a substitute of attempting to look my age, I attempt to appear like myself at no matter age I’m, which implies leaning into my imperfect aesthetic, my hyper-fixation on crop tops, and my assortment of candy-shaped earrings.
Jamaicans are additionally recognized for taking their self-expression to the dance ground, irrespective of their age. Whether or not it’s the size of a skirt, an evening on the membership, or each, Jamaicans by no means really feel “too outdated” to do one thing. My sisters and cousins are moms and dads of their thirties, and but they nonetheless make time to indicate up and present out at their favorite golf equipment. This places issues into perspective for me and different over-25s who wrongfully dub “clubbing” as an undergrad factor that we’ve grown out of doing.
“In Jamaica, ladies nonetheless flaunt themselves and describe themselves as attractive no matter their age,” my sister tells me. “They put on what they need, date who they need, and have enjoyable how they need.” That’s as a result of music, movement, and intercourse enchantment are such essential elements of Jamaican tradition, which solely get extra essential with age. It shouldn’t matter if you happen to’re 25, 35, or 45, an evening of music and dancing is at all times good for the soul. So quite than suppressing the a part of me that misses dressing up, taking selfies, and going out to bop for hours, I’m going to honour it an increasing number of with every year that comes.
Though my pre-30 crew (and plenty of others) may generally fear that the upcoming chapters of our lives will likely be extra about “surviving” quite than “thriving,” I’m counting on my Jamaican sensibilities to information me. It’s taken me so lengthy to get to a spot of satisfaction and self-acceptance, and I’m under no circumstances curious about shedding it simply because the TikTok police say 30 is just too outdated to have enjoyable. As an alternative of letting the web let you know what to do, take recommendation from Jamaicans, and me particularly: Don’t wind down with age — flip up!
